Megan Lebo

"Just be. Its what the world denies you" – Brandon Heath

Month: May, 2012

Redemption…

As I reflect back on the last couple of years I grieve over time that seems to me wasted and meaningless.

But is anything ever meaningless?

Maybe the hardships allow us to appreciate and see clearly the times of abundance.  Maybe the emptiness of a barren wilderness allows for proper fulfillment when you reach the land of plenty.

Its an incredible feeling, coming to the end of a dry and desolate road, looking out onto the flourishing landscape that now lies ahead of you.  So what is gained from that time spent in darkness and desolation?  What is it we find that gives meaning to such cunfusion and emptiness?

Redemption.

Everything in our lives plays out this drama, for we discover that there was never anything within ourselves to give us direction, strength, or endurance along this road.  The truth we find and the reality we can now embrace is that we were never really lost and we were never really forgotten.  Our lives were merely playing out the beautiful picture of redemption.

We were always Yours and You never lost sight of where we were.  You brought us home.

Redemption by Jars of Clay

We made it to a strange town

Going down the wrong road

Like any story retold

Couldn’t find a common ending

We’re way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

We needed a distraction

You said you were redemption

We knew it as a wrong turn

We couldn’t know the things we’d gain

When we reach the other border

We look out way down past the road we came from

We’re looking for redemption

It was hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

Never would have come this way

Looking for redemption

We were looking out past the road we came from

Looking at redemption

Hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

Never would have come this way

Looking for redemption

In the eyes of sorrow, eyes of rage

What a sordid histories they played

The drama of redemption

Redemption

Every girl is a little bit crazy…

I’m not that great at expressing myself with people.

I’m a writer.  I feel much more comfortable behind a pen or a keyboard.  In writing, the risk of saying things you will regret is much slimmer.  One can think and craft and filter words so that they say exactly what it is you want to express in the most elegant way possible.

Writing is sort of like acting in a way.  Except that you are not becoming the best possible version of someone else, but the best possible version of yourself.

My insecurities on a day to day basis plague me like gnats.  Sometimes I feel like the most insecure woman on the planet.  I worry that I’m not fun or whimsical enough.  I worry about boring people with the things I like to talk about like music, faith, art, and movies.

I worry about not being pretty enough.

I fret over letting someone get to know me better because I am so afraid that I won’t be what they expected.  I also stress that by caring so much about what someone thinks of me I’m not caring enough about that other person.

It a never ending game that oscillates between being needy and giving back.

I used to watch the show Scrubs.  There was an episode once where one of the main female characters, Elliot, started dating this guy named Paul.  She was terrified of letting all her “crazy” come out in front of him.  She would say to her friends, “I don’t know that I can hide the crazy from Paul much longer!”  So the whole episode she was putting on this façade of being in control.  She wanted him to think she had it all together and that she was calm, cool, collected and refined.  When he would leave she would turn to her friend and begin a shrill, high pitched, panicked rant about how she wasn’t good enough.  By the end of the episode she couldn’t hold it in any longer and all her “crazy” exploded in front of him in one emotional display.

I think every girl has a bit of crazy in her that she tries to hide and cover up out of the fear of scaring off the people she meets.

Its silly I know but its reality.

And maybe I’m really not as crazy as I feel sometimes.  I think the “crazy” that we all talk about is just our own insecurities that to everyone else is just the aspects of you that make you you!

I believe its important to reassure those around you.  Compliment them, draw attention to their strengths and laugh at the craziness.  Be honest with yourself and others.

It’s the honesty in life and relationships that create an environment of comfort and the craziness that makes life fun and excititng!

I am new life…

I am new life

I am restored, emerging from ashes

You have brought me up and steadied my feet

I stand restored and alive

Renewed

I am new life

No longer asleep, eyes opened to the dawn

With hope of new beginnings

I tread now on ground once weak but now firm

Alive

I am new life

What I was is now gone

Washed by the water

Refined by the fire

Reformed

I am new life

In freedom I stand

In freedom I shout

In freedom I dance

Free

I will paint Your grace

I will sing of Your mercy

I will dance to Your freedom

For I am new life

Our Great Commission…

It amazes me how quickly I become a victim of my own emotions.  Emotional reactions can often be devastating, leaving you backtracking in regret and feeling foolish.  It is always better to wait until the dust of your emotions settles before speaking on something that incites extreme emotions in not only yourself but in others as well.

The dust has settled.

As I have said before we live in strange times.  Times when everyone does what is right in his own eyes.  There is no longer one moral compass that defines what is right or wrong for the collective body.  According to the world we no longer have a choice about who we are as individuals.  We were born that way.  And because we were born that way that means its good right?

What most people don’t realize is that, yes, we were born that way and the Bible tells us so.  But that does not mean its good.

Genesis 8:21 says “…the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth…”, Jeremiah 17:9 says “the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick…”,  Psalm 51:5 says “behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.

We were all born that way.  We were all born into sin and corruption.

Because we are born into depravity we have to actively fight against the lusts of the flesh.  And the reality is that we are incapable of fighting the battle of our flesh successfully on our own.  Holiness is not born out of our own efforts but out of the righteousness that was imputed upon us through the blood of Jesus.

As a believer in Christ and the Word of God I do not agree with immoral lifestyle choices whether that be homosexuality, gender reassignment, adultery, abortion, or even cohabitation outside the walls of marriage.  I have becom increasingly concerned with the direction that our nation is going and the depths of depravity which we have now reached.

And yet I am torn.

Can we as Christ followers actually expect morality out of those who choose not to recognize the only true moral compass, that is, God’s Word?  Is it really our place to fight against the immorality of a world without salvation?  Morality cannot be found outside of who God is.

We cannot demand Christian character out of those who do not know Christ!

I am not saying that we should lay down our fight.  No.  I am saying we need to pick up a different weapon.

The only way we can fight immorality is by being the image of Christ to the world.  Hearts need to change before we can expect actions and lifestyles to change.  The change has to be from the inside out not from the outside in.

Romans 1:21-32 says:

“For even though they know God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.  Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four footed animals and crawling creatures.  Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.  For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, adn worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever.  Amen.  For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural funchtion for that whcich in unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.  And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them”

Because we as Christians understand the ways of God and what He desires out of His creation (holiness, and righteousness) we often begin moral crusades that while rooted in good intentions and passionate convictions can be a devastating witness to the Character of God.  The most effective witness to a lost and dying world is to display the life that has been given to us by the one who put it in us!

It is the act of living out the change that has occurred in us through His blood that either draws or turns away those who hear.  And while we grieve along with God over those who turn away it is their choice and we simply have to pray that God will be merciful in the end and bring them to saving faith in Him.

 

Why I had to end your life…

Please don’t look at me that way

I want you to hear what I have to say

I want to try to help you see

What having you around would have meant to me

Please don’t cry but understand

That you were just never part of the plan

I had dreams and hopes for life

So many things to see and feel and do

My house, my man, my other kids

There was just never room for you

Please don’t look at me that way

You’re not hearing what I have to say

I couldn’t imagine giving any more love

The little family I already had was enough

We wanted to travel, fix the house, and change careers

That would have never happened with you around here

We were done, moving on and gaining ground

You only complicated the scene

I thought you would eventually come around

And understand what having you here would really mean

Please don’t look at me that way

Don’t you understand what I’ve had to say

It was my choice not yours to make

You have no right to tell me it was a mistake

Your strange and unwelcomed intrusion

Would have only brought fear and confusion

Why are you being so selfish

Don’t you see what your life would have done

Derailing what was already established

Restarting a race I had already run

You’ve got to stop looking at me that way

I have told you all that I have to say

I can’t take it back or make it right

You never had the chance to win this fight

But you’ve seen how you’ve stirred up so much strife

And that’s simply why I had to end your life